new calling.

I received a new calling a few weeks ago in my ward but thanks to the primary program, stake conference, and a few other items today was my first day. I am the primary chorister. I have never been more terrified of something in my life. This is the way I see it. Dealing with MOST adults is easy peasy. Junior high and high school kids are usually a breeze too. But the little people in primary??? Terrifying. I don't know what to do with them.

I have had some experience with musical callings. With the exception of one (which was humiliating, offensive, and made me cry for a week) all of them have been great. I'm not too nervous about the idea of leading music or learning/teaching songs. It is just the concept of the small people.

Today I was a nervous wreck as I walked into primary. I made it through ok until it got to music time. We were learning a brand new song that we will be singing in Sacrament meeting on Christmas, and I had been working all week on ideas to teach it, pictures, learning it myself, etc. I got up there and froze. I couldn't get my pictures in order; I didn't hold the right ones up at the right time; I was shaking; I sang the wrong notes when I had to sing it solo so the kids knew how it sounded which made me almost cry, and when I finished I felt like it was a total train wreck. I got home from church and I cried.

I have served in my wards in numerous callings from ward chorister in sacrament meeting, to relief society pianist, to young women's secretary, to camp director, etc. None of them have challenged me like this calling is. I have a firm testimony that the Lord qualifies the called. I need to put my faith in Him and his ability to make me into a primary chorister. If you have ideas or helps for me, TELL ME. "It is often through another that the Lord meets our needs."

I am reminded of the scripture in Alma 26 where Ammon is talking about his testimony and he says "I know that I am nothing, as to my strength I am weak. Therefore I will not boast of myself but I will boast of my God. For in his strength I can do all things." I'm pretty sure that is how it goes. I am also reminded of the "Forget Me Not" talk from the Relief Societ Broadcast. Stop comparing yourself, Amber. The Lord knows you aren't perfect.

Someone last week told me that perfectionism is a form of pride. I guess need to put my pride in my pocket and pull out my faith. I hope they don't fire me.