traffic skool.

Seriously? There are almost no words. Oh wait...Since when do I have no words???

This morning I work up at seven (excuse me???) to go to traffic school before work. Boo. They told me to be there fifteen minutes before it started so I could check in. I got there 3 minutes before it started. Whatev. I sat down in a room with 9 other individuals most of which looked slightly less than classy. As we waited for the Detective and his handlebar mustache (yep) the kid with the mohawk says

So... What you guys in for?

Excuse me?? I am not a criminal. I am NOT a criminal. I AM NOT A CRIMINAL. I sped. I got caught. I think the amount of the ticket was punishment enough so hows about you give me the test and I'll take it and if I don't pass I'll sit through your class. If I do I go free... think about it.

Anyway so Detective Mustache enters firing off one liners thinking he's funny. I don't care if you are Brian Regan, Dane Cook, or Frank Calliendo--its early Saturday morning and I'm in traffic school. Ya ain't funny. Cue PowerPoint presentation. To my own credit, I sat there paying pretty good attention, until the fruit fly showed up. I named him Tim. He flew back and forth in front of the projector screen making it impossible for me to focus, as my eyes trailed his every move. Then, without warning, he plummeted straight for my face. Yep...a kamikaze fruit fly. I blew feverishly to avoid an eye penetration. I'm sure I looked equally as classy in that moment as everyone in the class did. Stupid fly.

Great news. Aced the quiz. I got a certificate of graduation and it even has my name on it. Think I'll frame it...