issues.

call me debbie downer.

I feel like a failure. I have always heard about how "wonderful" pregnancy is and how much people love to be pregnant. Do I love to feel fetus moving around inside me? Yes. Do I love the concept that in 9 weeks I'll be a mom to that poor unfortunate soul? Yes. Do I love that I can be lazy because everyone insists I'm incapable of doing things for some reason? Yes. Do I love the extra attention? Yes. Do I secretly love pants with elastic waist bands? Yes. Do I love using expectant mother parking? Yes. Do I love guilting Dewy into things that I "can't do" because I'm "carrying his son?" Of course. Do I love being pregnant?

no.

Are the women who say they love being pregnant lying hags or am I some sort of creep? I feel like a rhino. My feet are swollen, and people are eager to remind me of that repeatedly. The pounds are compiling at an alarming rate, and I all but have an anxiety attack every time I go to the doctor and stand on that bloody scale. I can't breathe when I'm standing. I can't breathe when I'm sitting. I can't breathe when I'm lying down. It takes me half a minute to move from laying to sitting and then another half a minute to move from sitting to standing and then another half minute to standing straight up. I can't sleep. I feel like I bite the hubs' head off no matter what he does. Even if it's nice. I waddle. My clothes don't fit, and the other day, my new brother in law informed me he has never seen me "not pregnant." I told him that was a sad thing for him because I was really quite a wonder to behold normally. I have stretch marks creeping in at all angles I feel like, and I can't even go get a massage without feeling like I'm going to wretch all over the floor through the little face hole. Do I hate being pregnant?

no. but I sure don't love it either.

There is all this hype about how lovely expectant moms are, and I am here to tell you that I feel about as far from "lovely" as you can get. Someone please tell me I'm not a creep. Thanks.