Nothing upsets me more than a broken promise. Being female I never had a chance when it came to emotions... lets face it; women are DRASTICALLY more emotional than men. I consider myself fairly good at controling sadness, let down, and anger for the most part (given I tend to slip a little on occasion); happiness I let roam free. If ever I am offended, which for the record is extremely rare, or hurt I hold my emotions in until at last I reach the safety of the darkness that surrounds me when I crawl into my unneccessarily large sanctuary of a bed. It is at this point of my day that I allow anything I held back that day to come out. For one reason or another tears have been frequent for the passed little while, whether it be frustration over an argument with mom, being let down after allowing myself to hope for what seems like a miracle, or merely a broken promise.
Tonight it was a broken promise.
Sometimes I feel like putting on a happy face is what my job is. I enjoy being happy and fun and entertaining, and for the most part I believe that is what people expect from me. There is however a part of me that longs for a hug. Just a simple meaningful hug without need of the wordiness of an explanation.
This post will make no sense to most of you, and to be quite frank the REAL reason of this post will never be understood to anyone but me and my tears. All you need to know, rather all you will find out seeing as need isn't really applicable to the knowledge you are about to receive, is that someone made me a promise. At the time the promise seemed irrelevant and trite. Yet as the week drones on, this promise, and the fact that I know without a shadow of a doubt that said promise will not be kept, breaks my already broken heart into microscopic pieces. Just let it go Amber... Let it go.
1 thoughts:
What the crap? I hope it wasn't me.
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