This week I have been hunting for a blessing outfit for Rhett to wear. Talk about impossible... I was at Target on Tuesday looking around when I decided that seeing as my maternity jeans aren't fitting and my pre-baby jeans have holes in the crotch and wouldn't fit anyway, I should go check out the jeans for myself. Idiot. I grab a pair of jeans that was a size bigger than what I wore before I got pregnant as well as one two sizes bigger just for good measure. I go into the dressing room, take off my staple sweat pants that are worn every day, and pull on the one-size-bigger jeans. I'm pretty sure pants are supposed to be able to get up past your knees. Crap. So I try the jeans two sizes bigger. Yep. Pants are supposed to be able to get past your butt too I think. Awesome.
I sit on the bench in the dressing room and sob. Literally I lose it completely in the handicap dressing room at Target with Rhett sitting next to me in his car seat asleep. Charming. Turns out, I fit into jeans that are FIVE sizes bigger than my pre-baby jeans. Yep you read that right, FIVE, and I wasn't slim to begin with. I text Dewy and vow to never eat another thing for as long as I live and I leave Target empty handed. Now brace yourselves because I'm about to indulge some info here that I usually wouldn't. Here is a message I sent Dewy during our conversation at that point: "I don't like myself. Not even a little, and that has never happened to me before." I hit an all time low sitting in the parking lot of Target. The tears are coming right now even as I type. Emotional garbage. Hate it.
Yesterday I stopped off at work to pick up a few things, and when I got there a surprise was waiting for me. The Lord knew I needed to go to the school that day, cause there was no way I was planning on going there before I actually showed up. I walked into my classroom and my long-term sub said that he had some things for me. Last week was teacher appreciation week, so he loaded all my gifts from the PTA into a bag. Then he handed me a large white envelope and said he wasn't sure what it was. I got home and opened it. Here is what I found:
It was a nice surprise, and I was grateful for the reminder that even if I might not be in love or even liking myself someone else might be. It was in that moment that I missed my students a little bit too. I was so glad that they gave me all my nominations so I could see what my students said about me. It was a much needed uplifting moment. Now... those of you who have had babies--my baby is a month old today. I need this excess skin/weight gone. What do I do? Help!
14 thoughts:
I love you! Your baby weight is not going to just go away in a month you silly girl! Lets go running together and work off our baby weight. Becuase guess what??? My baby is 4 months old and I still have 5 lbs to go til I hit the weight I was at before Kellson. And much more to go to be where I REALLY want to be. Love you amber! I think you are BEAUTIFUL!
Amber it has only been 1 month :) Plus a C-section leaves your tummy extra swollen. It will slowly get better :) When your depressed just hold little Rhett and suddenly it is all worth it :) Congratulations on your award! I bet you are the best teacher!
XO
Girly stop being soo hard on your self- It takes time for your body to get back to normal ( and it has been just a month )
One thing that helped me was the maternity post baby band-- Have you seen those ? Its sucks ya in the mid section, to start getting things back to where they were before (and helps ya fit into your post baby clothes ) If you can't find one- your more than welcome to borrow mine if you need :)
Amber, let's make a plan to get rid of this wretched baby weight together. My baby is almost 6 months old and I am much more rotund than I'd like to admit. I had to have some shorts shipped to my house because American Eagle doesn't carry sizes that big in their store. Talk about a wake-up call.
Girl you just had a baby and had him through a c-section..you got to not be hard on yourself! It will come off slowly but surely. Once you get the ok from the doc just start out slow with stretches to build your stomach muscles and go from there, but don't worry it will happen. Remember your stomach was just cut all the way through...it takes time to heal.
Everyone is right your baby is only a month old.. For some the weight comes off super fast and others it doesn't. I wore my belly bands for like the first two months to help get my belly back (well flatter anyway). Walking with Trig helped me feel better and start exercising slowly again. I would say don't stress too much until after your PP visit w/ your dr. Once you get the go ahead that you are healthy and healing okay.. . I would start exercising (slowly at first if you still need too) And then start hitting it pretty good. The worse thing I did was listen to everyone to don't worry about it and even though I felt good, I waited to long and I actually gained more weight.. You are amazing!! Truly!! I can relate the feeling of not loving or even liking yourself and feelings of not having any clothes fit.. It's no fun. If you can be patient.. It will take time before you start to feel normal again.. I'd say month 3?... GOOD LUCK!!
First of all, give it time. It takes time to get the yucky weight off. Secondly, once you are feeling better and when your doctor says it's okay, start doing a little exercise. But start slow, cause if you go too fast you could end up bleeding more. And thirdly, know that we all love you! You are a great person and you are beautiful inside and out even though you may not feel that way sometimes. My baby is 4 1/2 months old and I still feel that way sometimes. I just have to remind myself to stop being negative and try and look at the good. I think those feelings just come with the changes of having a baby and I don't think any woman with children hasn't had those feelings. Just know we love you!!
Sorry you had a depressing shopping trip. Things will get better! Glad you had a great pick me up from Teacher Appreciation week!
Cute Mother's day post! Nothing like being a mother! It truly is a miracle!
Books are great!! We have a million, and both my kids love to read!!
I'd totally use that bedding for a girl too! It's too cute not to.
It takes awhile. Remember it took you nine months to get that way in the first place. With my first one, it took me longer than nine months to get it off. I thought I was just doomed to be sizes bigger for the rest of my life. But that's not the case. It just takes your body some time. And lets face it, you can get back to the same weight, but you'll never quite be the same shape again. I remember after my first, trying to buy a pair of jeans in the Jr department...bad idea. Jr jeans are not meant for mothers with birthing hips and I definitely have those. But hang in there, we have all had those emotional roller coaster moments that come with pregnancy/new motherhood specifically, and womanhood in general. I'm glad you got nominated for the apple for the teacher award, that's awesome! Congratulations.
So at this point all you can really do is walk so start walking. Remember it took 9 months to gain the weight but it will come off, it just takes time. It will all be worth it and those mood swings will get better. You are a beautiful young woman on the inside and the outside!! Try and get your rest and drink lots of water.
Christy
I would nominate you for teacher of the year in a heartbeat!!! you rock my world, amber! you've probably heard the old theory that you gained it for 9 months, so give it 9 months to come off. be patient and don't stress :) you're amazing and don't forget it!!!
My sis-in-law told me after Eva. 9 months to gain it, so 9 months to take it off! Shopping is the worst right? My advice is to not diet or exercise drastically, just try to be healthy and patient. And don't let time get away from you being unhappy. My goal after having the babe is to just be SO happy because I'm not pregnant anymore! I'm not even gonna care about being bigger... that's the plan....we'll see how I do...
Amber! I love you.
You haven't even reached the six week mark yet. I thought you looked so cute this past weekend. I think we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else. You will be surprised how much better you will feel in just a few months.
OH Amber.. I love reading your blog. You are so honest and funny. Its so refreshing! I did the EXACT same thing after my first baby... Tried on some jeans at Target when she was about 4 weeks old and cried... and cried... and left the store angry. I know the last thing you probably want to hear at this point is that it takes time... But it just does. The weight WILL come off. Here are some things that have helped me.. Drink 80 - 100 oz of water per day. It sounds like a lot but it will help hydrate your body so that you can flush and detox. Eat 5 veggies every day... 1/2 cup of cooked veggies is one serving. or 1 cup fresh. And the biggest thing for me was to replace all white carbohydrates for whole grain. Pasta, rice, bread, pancakes, crackers etc. And when your doc gives you the go ahead just start walking a little bit. I hope you feel better!
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