hair.

My hair is dark.

My dad asked if I was "being serious" or if it was for

{Halloween}

An older lady member from work asked me

"what I did to myself"

and that she

"didn't like it."

Dewy said it wasn't "that bad"

but would "take some getting used to" and keeps calling me dark haired wife.

I think the neighbors think he is having an affair.

Dewy is getting used to it I think.
Nick said it looked good.

I like my dark hair.

If I see you, and you hate it

lie and tell me I look

H O T.

Thanks

classy.

Mom does not appreciate/approve of my use of the word

{F A R T}

She told me so. Sorry mom.

Also, Dewy just caught a moth with his bare hand. Swiped it clean off the light.

My hero.

smelltastic.

I am getting a wiff of fruity that suddenly turns to a fart smell. I dont know if this person has on strong perfume and then farted or what. The part I'm bothered by is that fact that I can't determine if its a pleasurable smell or not. Kind of like when you drive down Wall Ave in Ogden by the dog food plant and suddenly you get a wiff of McDonalds fries. You take a deep sniff and suddenly the smell turns wreched and you are abhorred that you ever enjoyed the smell and then you can't decide if it still smells like fries or not, or if you should never eat McDonalds fries again. You know you've done it. And it never fails that everytime you pass you do it again.

Fart or fruit? I don't know.

captain crash.

This weekend Dewy had to go to a scout campout in order to magnify his calling.

We are exceptionally righteous.

Anyway, Dewy needed to borrow Nick's truck to be able to haul stuff up to camp.

They traded cars Friday, and Dewy left.

Friday night about 5:30ish I got a phone call at work.

I was busy.

When I returned the call here is what happened.

Nick: Hello?

Amber: Hi. Who called me?
N: I did.

A: Ok whats up?
N: I wrecked Dewy's car.
A: No you didn't

N: Um.. Yeah I did.

A: Are you being serious?
N: Um...yeah.

A: Crap.

N: Um...yeah.

A: Are you ok?
N: Um...yeah.

A: Do you want me to talk to Dewy?
N: Um...yeah.

Come to find out Nick hit a parked car.

Dewy has an IPOD jack in his car that fell onto the floor.

When Nick tried to pick it up he drifted to the other side of the road and slammed into a parked truck.

Dewy's car is mangled hard core.

The truck had its fog light taken off and it's bumper dented.

Insurance concepts blow, and we, so far, are confused as all get out.

We had nothing to do to with the accident, but the insurance follows the car, and our premium could very well

{skyrocket}

as the adjuster says.

Super Duper.

Are we rich yet?

tmi.

How come its ok to dress abhorrishly skanky on Halloween? Never understood that.
I always dressed up lame apparently. Cowboy, clown, witch. You know, basically everyday clothes but added a bandana or maybe a big red nose.

As I was Christmas shopping last week, I entered a store that I shall refer to as dry walrus. I was looking for ideas for Kaylee. I rarely buy clothes for myself there. Mostly because I'm not a size -3, and when I shop there I feel like Regina George off Mean Girls when she is trying on her prom dress and the sales lady says if you need a bigger size you could try SEARS. Hmm...awesome.

Where was I?? Oh yes..
So I find an 'item' I think my husband may appreciate. As I proceed to checkout the lady says to me in her best I'm-A-Bimbo voice, "Oh is this your halloween costume!?"

Wow.

violence.

Ever just wanted to kick someone in the
knee caps
or poke them
in the eyes?
Possibly (as I like to say) lite them on fire?
Angela sometimes threatens to twist off nipples and shove them in your ear.
Thats an option too.
Ever felt like that?

...Me either.

you're invited.

Want to save huge bucks on groceries?? I'm going to a party to learn what to do and get sweet coupons. If you want to come with me let me know. The more the merrier. Its Tues the 27th @7pm...

Happy Birthday To Austin

Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday dear AUSTIN!
Happy Birthday to You!



For Austin's birthday we went to dinner at Chili's and then bowling at Weber State University where I WON a free game (woot woot).
At Chili's we may or may not have been slightly out of control. Austin ended up standing on a chair--and just because the waitress told him to does NOT make it ok.
Classy

haha.

Emily found a blog that inspired this post of my thoughts. I have no idea what it was.

--once in high school I went to donate at the blood drive. I was with 4 of my friends who were ahead of me in line. This is how it went down:
Lady at the desk "Do you weigh more then 110 pounds?
Friend "yep"
lady "Fill this out" {cue next in line}
lady "Do you weigh more than 110 pounds?
friend "yep"
lady "Fill this out" {cue next in line}
lady "Do you weigh more than 110 pounds?
friend "yep"
lady "Fill this out" {cue me}
lady "Fill this out"
Crap.
--98% of the time while you are talking I'm formulating my own comment to top yours and steer the conversation back to being about me.
--I love when someone I see is wearing the same shirt as me and I can say huh I have that shirt. Looks better on me. Its even better when I say it out loud.
--Nothing is funnier than watching someone walk into a spiderweb.
--I love walking past the green tea weight loss stand in the mall and having them NOT say something to me.
-- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
--When people sing and don't know the words and it sounds something like "da du we went out last night duh da la um da last night" it really grinds on my nerves.
--There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
--Sometimes I get unexplainably impatient/furious with people. Like I want to light them on fire.
-- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
--The other night I played volleyball and totally swung my arm and missed the ball and a lady said, "its ok I have oompa loompa arms too." I about had an aneurysm. I HAVE OOMPA LOOMPA ARMS!?
--I love when I start to daydream and stare off into space and realize I was staring at someone who realized I was staring at them too.. no crap.. I wasn't looking at you... I was... bah.
--Waiting to go into a public restroom is embarrassing. Especially when its a unisex one. And a guy comes out.
-- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
--I love every song I ever put on my Ipod. So why do I skip 15 songs before listening to 1??
--An old man asked me if I was breast feeding. He said I looked swollen... I'm sorry??
--Sometimes I run into people I haven't seen since high school and I say stupid things like "Hey hows that baby?? Your trip sure sounded fun!" and completely blow my I-So-Do-Not-Stalk-your-blog cover.
--I have about 4 people listed in my cell phone as "don't answer". Haven't heard from me in a while?? hmm...
--College amplifies ALL characteristics. Including stupidity.
--Google Maps should start their directions on #5... pretty sure I know how to back out of my driveway and exit my neighborhood.
--Ever watched someone and their internal diaglogue? I love seeing people argue with themselves.
--Nothing hurts my brain worse then having to look at a loaf of bread that costs 2.04 and then figure out how much it really costs after tax. I'm moving to Oregon.
-- I just saw a man walk by with a shopping cart full of Hawaiian Punch and pumpkins.. food storage??
--I love when I get a text and then call the sender of the text 2 seconds later only to get their voicemail... what did you do text me, drop your phone, and run?
--Sometimes I watch TLC's show I DIDN"T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT and I find every possible sign on myself of being pregnant.
--No I am not pregnant.
--Why is it when people fall its always 12 times funnier when they are morbidly obese?
--I hate when someone I haven't talked to in a very long time texts me and asks for someone else's number. Am I not cool enough to talk to?
--I love when obviously uncool people try to associate with me. Ha. Poor kids.
--The other morning Dewy asked me if I could grow my hair long. No. Then he asked if I could color it dark. No. Hurry quick ask me to loose 20 pounds next and lets see what happens.

i'm kind of a big deal.

Guess what happens when you check your email?
You find out you win cool stuff.
Like a writing contest.
Fifty bones.

And bragging rights.
Oh...and you get published.
Maybe you should check your email.

Gosh I'm awesome.

friend night.

Once a month we have friend night.

This month was the first time I remembered my camera

--disgraceful--

I know.

Nikki, Haulee, and I were great friends in high school, and lucky for them, our husbands like each other.

This month was Nikki and Anthony's turn to host.

We always have dinner. Anthony made pork chops.
{yum}
After dinner we have an activity.
This time was pumpkin carving. How festive.

One of the funniest parts of the night was Shane's pumpkin.
{thats Haulee's husband}
He carved Obama, and surprisingly it really looked like him.
Weird.
My pumpkin was gay compared to everyone else's. Here is a crappy picture of the final result.

From the left:
Haulee's--Mona Lisa, Shane's--Obama,
Nikki and Anthony's--creepy jack-o-lantern,
Mine--a peace sign that accidentally turned out like an upside down "Y", Dewy's-- spider
The night was a blast. Thanks friends, for being cool enough to associate with.

happy happy birthday.

Friday the 9th was Gentrie's birthday.

She got to pick where we went to dinner.

All day at work I was praying/craving Pizzeria.

Guess where she picked?

And I didnt even have to threaten her. She did it all on her own.
Its like we are telepathic.

The dinner party included all of the Hodges and cousin Tawni.

Love her.

And them.

We had a great time. Laughed a lot, ate too much, and enjoyed each others company.

Happy Birthday Genrie!

i do.

Danielle got married. To Preston.

They are in

l o v e.

We got to go to the temple ceremony.
It was fantastic.
This is Dewy and I waiting for them to come out of the temple.

I shared my husband with Alex too. She didn't have a date.
I'm such a good friend.

computer lab.

such and interesting place.

the kid sitting next to me smells like

M O T H B A L L S

...and he may have gas.

boo.

When I woke up it was

s n o w i n g.
Could someone please explain to me

where fall went?

...just saying.