I am broken

Thats all.

Painting Pedofile

Ok so this guy would only be a pedofile if I was a minor but he was still a creep, and as such the title stays. Here's what happened:

I was sitting at my teller station, bored out of my mind, when a grown man (probably mid 50s) came up to do a transaction. His first words before I could even greet him were, "Why would I go use the ATM when I could come and star at a pretty girl while she does it all for me?" Gross. He then proceeds to rattle off the lamest pick up lines ever. The pick up lines included things like this, "I have been painting my house all day. Sure would go faster and by much more enjoyable if you could come help me."

Excuse me I think I just threw up a little.

As a sidenote, I did nothing to encourage him.. cough... Angela... cough.

Comments... or the lack thereof

So if you scroll down a ways you will notice the complete absence of ANY comments. Fix that for me will ya? I was entertaining once... I think I lost my mojo.

Shame on Me

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have neglected to post anything about my family in Cali! My aunt Cindy and Uncle Gary live o so far away, and the reasons for their absence on my blog could be because they NEVER COME SEE ME! Just a thought Cindy. These are pictures from my Aunt's birthday. This family is one of my favorites and I love it when we get together. Last time I saw them was spring break when some friends and I went to Cali and Cindy made us dinner. Love her! The pictures include: Aunt Cindy, Uncle Gary, Michelle (who is growing up to be quite the hottie), and Joseph (the best baseball player I know!)


This last shot shows Cindy in her prime. She is classy. I LOVE YOU!

PF Changs makes my heart pitter patter

Last night I ate at PF Changs. Nothing could have made me happier. The lettuce wraps and the meal were superb (and free but thats beside the point--merely an added bonus really), my waiter was hilariously gay, and I was in extremely enjoyable company. It was an evening that left me happily content and pleasantly optimistic. Who knew excellent food and an appealing individual could make such an impression. I promised not to bring this person into the blog, henceforth I cannot mention any more details. You know who you are.

Alex the Comeback Queen

If I had known all that was required was merely to make a post about Alex to bring her back to us, I would have written eons ago. Here nor there however, she is back! Tonight "The Ladies" went to dinner together at Chilis to catch up on life's events. Food was excellent-- as always -- and it was followed by a little shopping. I couldn't resist the chance to capture a moment of us enjoying what I may consider to be God's gift to earth. Molten Chocolate Cake. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot. Enjoy.

Best advice of the day; possibly the season

And here I had been blaming them... What was I thinking

My Partners in Crime

I was looking through some old pictures and I got a case of nostalgia. I miss my friends and our single lives. I am extatic for them and their happy marraiges but I miss the girl times we used to have. Vacations in Park City and California, Christmas parties, road trips, or even making Michael Jackson music videos. I love my friends/partners in crime, henceforth this post is dedicated to friends and the good old days where our biggest worry was getting asked to prom. Also. I haven't seen Alex in about four thousand years. Therefore, Alex you are included as a friend that I miss. Me and Danielle need you. Come back.

Max Payne or Max LAME!

Tonight I endured a portion of the worlds WORST movie. I would advise any innocent soul contemplating the visit to said movie not to. The movie was loaded with drug hallucinations that made me question my own soberness, excessive cursing and violence, and scandelous women with too much "I try to hide my drug addiction with wearing too much black eyeliner" make up. The women also sported the black leather trench coat-- you know the kind they wear during the pouring rain scenes for effect but that you can guarantee they wear them even in the heat of summer merely to send a message. "I'll kill you, merely because I think its attractive." Boo. I endured fifteen minutes of torture, which was exactly 14 minutes and 55 seconds too much. Don't do it.

Maddee Hales: Dodgeball Heroine

Due to exemplary acts in Monday night's dodgeball game, I have chosen to pay special tribute to Miss Maddee Hales. Our opponents of said game were ferocious wenches who deserved nothing more than Maddee's treatment of them. Although against ALL rules of dodgeball, which every soul learned during the torment sessions in elementary school, Maddee pegged four of their attrocious players in the face during one game. It was no one's fault but their own for not getting out of the way. Maddee had to have set a record. I'm calling Guiness.

Midterms or Cruel and Unusual Punishment?

This week: Mid terms- possible death
Next week: Amazement if I am still alive

I'm about three thousand percent sure all my professors got together and decided to make all my midterm papers due at the same time. 2 nine page papers, 1 seven page paper, a four page paper, and a test. Superb.

Silver lining: My teacher yelled at me and told me to shut up in front of my class last Wednesday during a discussion of our midterm. Trying to make his wrong a right he emailed me our midterm answers. 'Preciate cha. Below: Sunday night study session. Don't wait until the last minute or anything. Sheesh.

THRILLER.. Long post. You have been warned.

Tonight was girls night. Danielle and I started our date by eating at Golden Dynasty (yum). The highlight of our meal was when Danielle ate a spoonful of soup only to immediately spit it right back in the bowl. It was "too hot." Classy. After dinner we hit up Smiths for munchies where we discovered they overprice EVERYTHING. My beloved orange mints were over a dollar more than they are at the blessed Lee's Marketplace. Following Smiths we hit our main event: THRILLER. I'll be the first to admit my obsession with Michael Jackson. Call my cell phone. No rings, simply "Hey pretty baby with the high heels on..." Anywho, the show was AMAZING. We sat front row and before it even started I was creeped out. The dancers were abnomally creepy (as shown below), climbed over our chairs, rolled on the floor, and hissed at us mere inches from our faces. Then the show started. Serious. Here are some pics:
Dinner was stupendous... I liked Danielle's fortune better than mine so I stole it.
Say hello to Ms. Creepy. Curtain at intermission, just in case you forgot what my post was about... It is a long one I know.
This is the Thriller Finale Dance.
I apologize that these are really blurry. Those dog gone dancers wouldn't hold still. Never mind that I was trying to take pictures while hiding a camera halfway in my purse. Whoops. This next one is one of the little "in between" acts they had while they set up for the next dance behind the curtain. This lady was a weirdo. Never mind the morbidly obese dancer next to her. He had a belly-fat apron and he was in tights. Super. Lots of small children dancing as Chucky. Uplifting. The Jason Jam. Also known as crazy chain saw guy. I wish you could see this one better. The dancers had on skeleton suits. It was pretty awesome. No satire (which mean sarcasm Maddee), I'm being serious this time. This was the mummy dance. The Cleopatra lookin ladies were smokin hot during this one. Loved it. Ryan, one of my co-workers, was there and sat right by us. He told me this gorgeous individual was my boyfriend. Scrumptious. I called this one the "Twilight Dance" because all the men were in it and they were all vampires. Beautiful, sculted, possibly homosexual vampires. This is the end of the show when all the dancers were on stage and in the audience. Ryan looks exceptionally uncomfortable. I love it. And last but not least... THRILLER! Technically cameras weren't allowed during the show. Obviously I'm a super rule follower. I'm Amber Jo and I'll do what I want. Don't they know I have a FAMOUS blog and avid readers who live for my posts? Let's be real.

Tagged- See if I tagged you!

Kylie tagged me! If you read the letter U I don't want to hear any mockery.
A-Z Tag

A- Attached Or Single: Single-- both regrettably and appreciatively
B- Best Friend: Danielle
C- Cake Or Pie: Pie
D- Day Of Choice: Sunday
E- Essential Item: Cell phone or chapstick
F- Favorite Color: Orange
G- Greatest Accomplishment: Will happen when I graduate in May woot woot
H- Hometown: Harrisville
I- Indulgences: Food, shoes, purses
J- January Or July: July
K- Kids: Not yet
L- Life is Incomplete without: Laughter
M- Marriage Date: TBA
N- Number of Siblings:4-- Nick-17, Kaylee-14, Cortney-10, Austin-7
O- Oranges or Apples: Pineapples
P-Phobias or Fears: Being late, spiders, failure
Q-Quotes: When life throws you a lemon, throw it back harder.
R- Reason to Smile: Heading to Thriller tonight!
S- Season: Summer
T- Tag five friends: Maddee, Angela, Emily, Jordan, Malissa
U-Unknown Fact about Me: I love to sing in the car, and to cover up the fact that I am indeed jamming out ALONE I hold my cell phone to my ear so it looks like I'm merely talking to someone when in reality I'm singing to no one at all :D
V- Very favorite store: Forever XXI
W- Worst Habit: Procrastination
X- X-ray or Ultra sound: Um... neither?
Y-Your Favorite Food: Chinese or Japanese
Z- Your Zodiac sign: Aries
Not really sure what the picture has to do with anything but I promised Maddee pictures with each post so...

Once upon a time...

I realized that I used the phrase "once upon a time" WAY too often. I caught myself at work the other day saying it and so I decided to count how often I caught myself saying it. It comes out something like this "Once upon a time, I wanted a drink of water" I then proceed to get my lazy rear off my chair and waltz over to the water tank and fill my cup. A few moments later I would say "Once upon a time I wanted a mint," or "Once upon a time I was tired." 37 times. I'm not sure where the phrase came from but it needs to stop, and it needs to stop immediately. I'm a creep.

Hiccups... or obnoxious popping sounds? Both.

Danielle has hiccups that are shaking my bed. Kaylee thinks it's funny. The sound is similar to that of a cork popping off a wine bottle. Starts out deep and ends on a high pitch note. Cripes. She is reading this post over my shoulder out loud to Kaylee and every other word is swallowed up by one of the monstrous hiccups. It sounds like this: Dan-hic-ielle hiccup that hic are shak-hic-ing bed... you get the idea. Classy.

Protestors and Faithful Saints

I love the rain. Especially when I have to drive to Salt Lake for General Conference and have to walk 37 blocks to the Tabernacle and then stand outside with hords of people, half of which are shouting profanities at me and renouncing my Father in Heaven. Super. In all reality though, I love the rain.
As was hinted to, I had the opportunity to go to General Conference this morning. It was a blessing to be there. Special thanks to Ryan and Tiffo who made it possible for me to go. Thanks all.

Winner Takes All

I am the proud older sister of a seven year old soccer pro.

Austin plays on a comp soccer team called "Crossfire." Tonight the team had a game and I am proud to say I shouted my little heart out for that kid. The score was 4-3 when the clock ran out and Crossfire was victorious. Austin scored one of the goals and assisted a few others. He is soooooo good. I'm not biased. Swear. Here is the little cutie:



Also. Tonight was Fremont (woot woot) High school's Homecoming football game. Up against arch nemesis Weber High, Fremont won their game compliments of my little brother's best friend Chad Richins. Alex Cook, a darling sweetheart from my stake, was crowned Queen. I was hoping and praying for the EVER beautiful Maddee Hales, but I don't hate Alex by any means. You looked stunning Maddee!
Watching the game made me almost, and that is a HUGE almost, miss high school. I hadn't been to a football game at that stadium since I graduated, and merely sitting on a pink quilt on the bleechers made me think back to my "know it all" years of skipping class, McDonalds, and boys. My trip down memory lane was brought to an abrupt halt however when I saw the collection of creeps dressed in Fremont attire. Guys with eyeliner, girls with hair higher than Mount Olympus, and band geeks dressed in neon green and leopard leotards. Yikes. Now I spend my time at Weber state where guys wear girl pants, girls dress like guys, and everyone walks around antisocially with an Ipod in their ears. Splendid.

Lastly. Basically all of Harrisville was there. Proof:

So was Jordan. More proof:

Working hard or hardly workin?

Today at work was an interesting, if not completely ridiculous, day. First and foremost let me vent my lack of being impressed with my current employing insitution. I work for a VERY classy company as you can see: Please someone tell me that there really isn't tape holding up my computer screen. Super. Could we get a maintanence man over here please...

Also. There is a creepy guy that has a seemingly large crush on me. According to Angela that is entirely my fault which is completely bogus. It's not my fault that I am friendly and talk to people when spoken to, nor is it my problem that I care about what I look like so I try and look top notch when I go to work. Today he displayed the ultimate level of creepyness. The guy works for America First as well and is our courier. He brings us two large bags a day, one in the afternoon and one after we close. Today the afternoon bag had a gold bow on it. Weird. Inside there was an inner-office envelope with my name on it. Inside: candy. Creep. Please admire the display with me now. Everyone together: Awe.... oh wait NOT Here we see the overall package...
This is a closer view... obviously.

ZZZZZzzzzz....

Today my dad asked me what I learned at school. I told him I learned that when my professor turns off the lights and puts on a slideshow that may have been made in the 1980's I fall asleep. He was not impressed.